Close! They're interdimensional navy SEALs sent to retrieve EBEs from crash sites before humans can get their grubby hands on them, and bring them under Yettinsyn control.

But yeah most of the EBEs themselves are actually artificial biological drones controlled by a hivemind that are sent to steal our water, cow rectums, and most importantly our SLACK! But us followers of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs in The Church of the SubGenius know The Truth! See, "Bob" was working on a television of his own design in 1953 when it shocked the living ghee out of him, and he was contacted by that alien space monster JHVH-1 who informed him of the plan. That's when "Bob" started The Church and set about stopping the hivemind, and he made contact with the X-ists (other aliens), who he sold earth to on the contingency they Rupture up all The Church members who have paid their dues into their PleasureSaucers and save us before the extinction event takes place.

Do people think you're strange? Do you? Then you may be on the right track! Are you abnormal? Then you are probably BETTER than most people! YES, our kind shall triumph!

IF

• you are what they call "different"
• you think we're entering a new Dark Ages
• you see the universe as a vast morbid sense of humor
• you are looking for an inherently bogus religion that will condone superior degeneracy and tell you that you're "above" everyone else
• you can help them with a donation

Then write to "Bob" at P.O. Box 807 Glen Rose, TX 76043. Send $3 and ask for the pamphlet. Best deal in any religion, Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE your money back! You'll pay to know what you really think.