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Its not bizarre. Its called reasonable force
So, defending yourself is only valid once you're actually in the process of being killed? A bit too late at that point. Someone physically breaking into your home is a valid reason to use force in response.
A bit too late at the imaginary non event in your head?
But the definition of threat is what you described. It is a threat against your life which this was not and its why this is tragic because failing to assess caused an unnecessary death.
So, again, someone physically breaking open your door, who has unknown weapons themselves including a potential gun, should be something you do nothing about? Just let them in and hope they don't mean to kill you?
that's what you're saying not me. Use my words, not yours