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Have you ever tried an open source dating app?
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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Have you thought of frendica? I think it's kinda what you're looking for but it doesn't seem too popular. Have you used bumble for friends? I thought bumble was for dating, I'm not sure how that would work for friends.
Friendica didn't use activitypub until it was too late which might explain the lack of popularity.
Bumble for friends is a separate service from bumble.