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this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2026
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While I'm a lesbian, I make a point to absolutely humiliate any man who has the audacity to come up to me and flirt while I'm minding my own fucking business trying to enjoy my day (see edit below for clarification on what I mean by "flirt" here). I'm fully aware I could just say "I'm a lesbian, fuck off", and most of those guys would fuck off (please note, this also reveals homophobes that claim I just haven't been with a "real man" yet, and those guys are absolute assholes that won't take a fucking hint), but it's so much more fun to absolutely destroy their ego instead.
*Looks over them like I'm checking them out*
*Laughter as if they're pathetic*
"No, hun. I have standards"
*Shoos them away*
Granted, I open myself up to a lot more danger by doing this, because it often pisses them off, but it's so worth it to see the dejected look on some of their faces. Bonus points for destroying whatever they say in response with more ego-shattering insults.
NOTE: I recommend other women don't follow in my footsteps without some solid self-defense training and a can of maximum strength pepper spray. I cannot stress enough that there are men who do not take blows to their ego lightly, and will get very aggressive.
EDIT: I didn't think this needed to be specified, but since y'all are making such a fuss in the comments, let me elaborate. It's sexualization and objectification that get me heated. If you come up to me and compliment something genuine about me that isn't some inherited part of my physical appearance (i.e. telling me you like how I did my hair today, or how my outfit comes together, or complimenting something you saw me do), I'm not gonna have any problem with you. Or perhaps you just treat me like any other human being and start a conversation and get to know something about me first. But if you come up to me and say shitty pick-up lines or say (or imply) that my body is making you horny, I'm gonna have an issue. Especially if I'm just trying to mind my own business because I don't like being approached by men when I go out. It just so happens that almost every time I'm approached by a man who intends to flirt with me, they fall into the latter category. You wanna be respectful? I'll politely turn you down.
Is it really necessary to be demeaning? I'm sure you feel like they all deserve it, and probably some of them do, but also some of them are probably decent people who are trying to be outgoing and probably had to work up a lot of courage to try to start a conversation with you.
Do you really need to crush them when a simple no will suffice? If they don't take a simple no for an answer, then you know they deserve harsher treatment. But wanting to destroy someone's spirit over a simple interaction seems a bit sadistic. I mean, how would you feel if someone did that to you?
See, this is flawed. You clearly don't understand how demeaning it is for you to be approached sometimes multiple times a day to be treated like a sexual object while you're just trying to go about your day. The context is important here. If I were doing this at a dating function, or an online dating app, obviously that would be ridiculous. But I (and many women like me) don't want to be constantly sexualized and objectified in every aspect of my life. I don't care what your intentions are, you're ruining my day coming up to remind me of the rampant misogyny that fuels these interactions. You want to flirt with me? Get my fucking consent. It is not hard to flirt with me in a social context where it is acceptable to do so, where there is an expectation of it. And if a man came up to me during those contexts? Honestly, I'd be caught off guard and incredibly confused because I only attend gay/lesbian dating functions, so I'm not sure what exactly I'd do, but it would be much more understanding. Well, at least so long as they take no for an answer.
How about we stop normalizing objectifying women? If you're interested in someone beyond a one night stand, here's an idea: introduce yourself and get to know them. If you are looking for a one night stand, do it somewhere it's more appropriate. I don't want to be stopped while I'm shopping for my groceries to turn down men who are struggling to look anywhere but my chest. It's dehumanizing. You wanna ruin my day? Don't be surprised if I ruin yours.
Oh, and to answer your question, I don't approach people on the street and sexualize them. And if I did, then I'd damn well deserve to be knocked down a peg. I don't need a constant reminder that some random guy wants to fuck me. Perhaps if your flirting wasn't exclusively made up of poorly packaged excuses to say how the way I look makes you horny, I'd be a bit more accepting. After all, a genuinely nice comment about something I'm in control of and not merely my physical appearance is welcome. In fact, I respond quite well to that. Flirt with me in a respectable way that doesn't ruin my mood, and I'll be nice and polite when I turn you down. But that almost never happens with men. It's the blatant sexualization that I have a clear problem with, and that is when I go out of my way to attack someone's ego. Any of the "decent people" who approach me can do so in a way that respects me and treats me like a real human being, and not merely an object to fulfill their horny desires.
You should know that the only people you're going to affect are the ones who actually care about what you think of them.
The assholes are just 'fishing' and will completely forget about your response when they try to get with their next target.
You're right in that one interaction is not going to fix an asshole, but perhaps if there were actual efforts being made in society to keep men like that in check, we'd see their prevalence decrease. As is, they're allowed to exist nearly completely unchecked (and often thrive, in fact), and so I feel the need to be one of the few people to "check" them.
Anyone else coming up to me who's making it clear they're just trying to fuck me can eat a dick for all I care. Do that in a place where it's appropriate, not when I'm out having fun with friends, or god forbid literally on a date with another woman. Want to flirt with me anyway? Well you'll have much better luck doing it in a way that isn't sexualizing me. Compliment how I did my hair that day, how my outfit comes together, or something I did that you feel is commendable (and don't give off that "I really wanna fuck you so I'm gonna compliment you until you say you like me back" body language while doing it; that's not much better). Or y'know, just be friendly and polite and start a normal conversation with me and get to know me. You'll get a nice response with warmth and friendliness (unless I'm in a bad mood or in a rush, but in that case it's really more of a "sorry, I don't have time to talk right now" kinda thing). If I can tell you're flirting, I'll politely let you down by saying I'm not interested in men. Call my ass big and allude to how much that turns you on and you'll get a stone cold bitch who wants nothing to do with you.