As much as I wish I could agree that he pulled through...

First paragraph: great. If only the post ended here.

Second paragraph: I'm gonna... uhm... increase the coordination with the repressive state apparatus to Increase Safety™.

Third paragraph: Anyways, we as New Yorkers don't really have to fear any retaliation from Iran, so no worries, you can go back to brunch after you express your dissent on social media.

And don't get me wrong. It IS a genuine improvement over "Maduro is a dictator" approach to US foreign policy, so critical support is due.