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how to avoid sexual assault
(quokk.au)
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this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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honest question for yall, as a AuADHD otaku guy (recovering now...i think, feels weird), whose just now coming out into the world again...
been trying to go out to social events and stuff, like there's there local punk dive bar that only opens once every 2-3 weeks (very overwhelming in general...why would i want to listen to music while 30 simultaneous loud conversations are going on at same time?)...
i barely know how to interact with people let alone woman i find atteactive, how is one supposed to approach someone who otherwise has no "signals". like they're not wearing anything distinctive or don't have any tattoos etc.
so obviously if i approach then it's because they're hot right, but you have to like...pretend it's for something else? but yoy have to do this in a way that comes off non-creepy/threatening but also natural? and then of course you have to think of stuff to actually talk about...
then i catch i myself staring at them as i ponder this dilemma, probably long enough that they/their freind group noticed. rip, moment passed.
been trying to think of natural (for me) way to approach woman at bar in situation like this and the best i got (haven't yet had opportunity to try it) is just "hey, uh...i'm autistic. really bad at this whole socializing fhing, would you mind if i just practiced having a conversation with you?"
can't be the worst pickup line most have gotten, surely (not trying to "pickup", just convenient terminology)
Maybe do it the other way around.
Instead of going up to attractive people and pretend to have normal conversations as cover, just have normal conversations with everyone and eventually you'll find yourself having a conversation with someone you find attractive.
This is it. Make friends first. Relationships might come later.
Otherwise its like trying to kayak without having a paddle.
Try to find hobbies you enjoy that involve being in the same physical space together.
Don’t assume you have to go to “designated social places” like bars, clubs, etc.
In terms of not using a hobby space to pick up—right, try to avoid that. I know it’s hard but go into every conversation without any pressure for it to be romantic.
I’m not convinced there’s a friend zone in the sense that if you are “too platonic for too long” you will lose an opportunity on some window that only opened once. Folks can correct me if I’m wrong though.
that is why i go to this bar, they only open once or twice a month, normally have 2-3 new/unkown local punk bands opening. is good way to discover new music
I assume that is why most everyone else there is coming out to that punk dive bar too, like a dive dive bar you know?
My bad, I thought you were going to a bar/space that you didn’t personally enjoy.