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this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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unless you've actually literally lived as a woman you cannot know the monumental amount of sexual harassment we face and fear on a day-to-day basis. doubly so for trans women. every single moment i am alone in public i am deathly anxious that i could be harassed (sexually or otherwise) or hate-crimed or whatever. and the worst part is, there's nothing i could do about it. the perpetrator would get away scot-free. the cops do not fucking care
however bad you think it is, it's worse. whatever you're imagining, it is exponentially more horrendous
I have twice been in public with my fiance and some random twat in a pickup truck yells cat calls while driving by slowly in a parking lot. Wish the fuckers would stop so I can pull them through the window. God knows what she's delt with when I'm NOT standing next to her holding her hand. Sick as a society we are, that's why we have trump as pedophile in cheif. Smh.
Since you said they’re a she, it’s fiancée. Congrats on the nups!
As a man, I genuinely wonder how much actual harassment women face vs how much they hear about it, driving the anxiety.
I get to feel that a lot of these fears are real, but many are manufactured. But I can be wrong.
I'm pretty sure it's much, much worse than you think. In fact, I'm fairly sure it's much worse than I think. Men don't experience it, women are reluctant to talk about it because some men react aggressively to claims that men react aggressively.
Anecdotally, last week I (middle aged lady) was approached by two strange men. One tried to grab me outside my work site, and one told me how lovely I was and asked for my number (in target). It’s much, much worse for young women. It’s not manufactured, unlike the doubt of women’s lived experience seems to be.
If men can never know. How can men ever trust women's calls to action on the issues are fair, just or worthwhile?
The same way we trust that it's really painful for men to get kicked in the junk without having to experience it ourselves.
And how do we accomplish that?
If I knew how to make everyone empathetic we wouldn't even need to be discussing this in the first place. What a vapid question.
Sounds like it an incredibly important question if you want more empathy in the world.
The question of how we make empathy universal isn't the vapid question. Yours that I was responding to was.
Either way, if women can manage the hit in the balls empathy, surely you can figure this out, too, without a step-by-step pictorial diagram and someone to hold your hand.
You can't explain how empathy works and think understanding it is vapid so your beleifs about what is and isn't possible, how and when, seem highly suspect. How do you know men and women are equally capable of how empathy, or if what is required to encourage it, is present?
You answered your own question. The task for men is to trust women when they describe their experiences, even if it’s completely invisible and alien to their own experiences. Reading detailed firsthand accounts is a good way to build understanding.
That is not a task for men. That is a demand from women. If men can only decide to believe based on the trust they have with the speaker then the speaker must earn their trust. It is not men's responsibility to become trusting of women, just because women want it. If women want men to trust their words then it's women's responsibility to gain men's trust. It would be profoundly unwise of men to believe without either trust or safety. How often do you ever concern yourself with the safety of men? Because from my experiences, those of my male friends and of the media women like most, women ensuring men feel safe enough to trust is not a concept that rarely ever appears, nevermind it being respected when it does.
I think we all need to do the work to understand the problems faced by different groups. Women need to be doing this too. This isn’t a thread about problems men face, however.
Few of them ever are...which is an example of the point. Stories of men's experiences are not wanted. So when the topics affecting men are brought up, it's the closest many get to being heard. Which, of course, they get attacked for. It's not the place but there is no place so it never gets heard. Seems to me like a little system of censorship and oppression.