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this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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“One German brand, the Nestlé-owned Choco Crossies, recently announced it was eliminating cocoa altogether from its new Snack Vibes line, replacing it with ChoViva, a lab-grown chocolate alternative made from fermented sunflower and grape seeds.”
How the fudge did we end up in this dystopian nightmare? ಥ_ಥ
Child slavery is frowned upon just enough that they have eliminated real cocoa. People won’t pay for non-slave rates, so they have to go with synthetic product.
We continued releasing more and more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere for decades after learning that it was causing increasingly extreme weather
Sorry, but I really want to try the fermented seed cocoa. There are non-Nestlé versions and having an option that doesn't exploit child slaves is always a good option.
lol GRAPESEEDS.
By coveting.
There's a scene from Band of Brothers, two GIs meet a French family on D-Day. One of the soldiers offers the boy, 4 or 5 years old, a chocolate bar. The boy smiles from ear to ear when he tastes it. His father says, "Thank you. He's never had chocolate before."
Imagine that. Imagine living in a society where chocolate is considered an exotic food. That's how the world was, for almost all of human history. You live in Norway and you want a lemon? HA! Tough shit, you'll never even know what lemon smells like.
But, at some point, Americans got used to having every delicacy from every corner of the world. We forgot that each nibble of chocolate is exotic. That the beans aren't native to our country. That most people in the world can't afford real chocolate except as a rare treat. And look at us now - just like the rest of the world.
Lab-grown? Lab-GROWN? What fucking part of the metal tank has the growing area?
The hydroponic lab?
Shits like a century old.
probably synthesized, sunflower/grapeseed mixture. probably just turn the seeds intoa pulp and made it into faux-colate.