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I've been self-hosting Matrix for like 2+ years now. The setup yaml was a lot to get thru in terms of reading what each set of options did. That felt like a lot but the reality was only a few things actually needed to be set and/or changed to make it work the way I wanted. Thankfully Matrix documented all the options out.
Overall, I'm extremely happy with Matrix. It has very much been set it and forget it once it was up. I'm excited to see where Matrix 2.0 goes.
Do you run it as a mostly isolated/self-contained instance, i.e. not federated/connected to others? I've read here & there that for some it seems to bog down as they try to operate it as a federated instance.
I run it with a whitelist of other instances I do federate with. I have actually been considering opening it up.