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this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
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XMPP with prosody is good once you've figured out the modules you need.
Unfortunately, I had to quit a few years back as there was no reliable iOS client. Long story short: notifications were never working as expected on that plateform.
Matrix.org is overkill for my needs, but at least notifications work accross the board 👍
Snikket.org is an xmmp server that bundles common extensions
And has very well working notifications support on iOS with the included app.