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Programming Languages as Essays
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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor
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haskell: "you submitted your math work instead of an essay"
javascript: "this is awful, but at least i can read it anywhere i like"
lisp: "it is not grammatically correct to nest brackets so much"
lua: "your vocabulary is too limited and you have the writing skills of a child"
rust: "omg. your essay is fast, safe, and perfect in every way! A+"
css: "this is beautiful, but it doesnt say anything"
C#: did you just copy Java's essay and put your name on it?
COBOL: why it looks like it's from 16th century?
PHP: I did not ask for a spaghetti recipe
alternative Rust: it's great, but I asked for an essay, not "🔥 Blazingly fast rust-based EssayOS"
C# is Java in good
C# is Java except from Microsoft, which means it's designed and much more integrated with Windows. The official .net core even brings telemetry right out of the box. Using C# apps on Linux is a pain, which is very bad considering it's supposed to be like Java - compile once, run anywhere - except Java actually achieves it.
Also, Minecraft runs on Java. Therefore, C# is useless. Boom, destroyed /s
Untiy games are programmed in C#
So point for Java
True. F Unity, I prefer C/C++ with eg. Raylib. (Fr tho, I hate not having direct control over my whole code.)
Stardew Valley runs on C#.
ROASTED
Yes, I know. I'm a .NET dev myself, it's just a joke
Java developer here. Can confirm (from what I've read about C#, anyway).
Rust v3: "It's three hours and I'm still compiling dependencies"
EDIT: Also, "What does
Option[Arc[Mutex[BTreeMap[String, Box[RefCell[Box[amp mut F>>>>>>> where F : Fn(T) -> Uin your essay mean?" (srry, I didn't come up with a better obscure data type, it's probably gibberish)EDIT2: Lemmy deletes 'less than' sign for some damn reason (time to build Lemmy at home?)
My friend partially explained how the build safety system worked for Rust and my first reaction was "holy shit the link stage must take a century".
"Yes."
worth
I don't think you should criticize a language that you clearly have not even learnt the syntax of. Dependencies are also a one-time compile and linking just your own program or library does not take very long, and if you've ever worked with C languages it's all the same.
Just because you don't know how to read a languages syntax doesn't mean it's bad, it's just like how you have to learn anything else. Rust is quite self-explanatory afterwards.
I do write Rust projects
EDIT: Well, it depends. If you statically compile everything with C build systems, in that sense, the speed should not differ from generic
cargoworkload. Although, in most cases, projects written in C are dynamically linked due to several reasons, one of which is code speed. In practice, even huge projects written in C (30k to 10k LOC) build quicker than C++ or Rust.I'm not pooping on generics, either. Generics is a saviour for correctness and performance. Yet, I want to point out the type creep is still a thing, even though there's little we can do about it.
Anyways, this thread should be better interpreted with humor, instead of technical accuracy.
Fair, I just don't like it even when it's humorous as it still speaks of a language in a bad way.
Also, if you use a Unix system to build your projects I can recommend you check out Mold if you haven't yet as it speeds up the linking significantly.
ahah nice
Found the Rust programmer
Ha, such a loser. Real programmers use C.ԥ[��\�q��r��8-߿�ʱT�xd]�UG���S;���v�o������ՠ��N�iYts~fv���@ֿ��Qj�\�Q��_"�$�:� �����0��y��G�6�K!~{Ȯ������Z�n�˭s�\��ڣ�:J��1���e�k=�${�Z�3�k~67D�����K���(�P.��v�0��a�����d���6e?=�v�)���a��bF���R��4>�˕�G�=��v-�dP��O�3��+A�nw�|ъ�f۽b�oF�I`'�#��:��̴g>�j:^���O�mu^U�l�A�oI�'�.��j>Dm\����y��2T��8w�D"1������ת«Q����l�"�C�{��������% �_�A�߸�=t��� �X��m�9R�x��)�a�-���tbL�����Ǣs��d$oMZ��4I1jXD���
Segmentation fault
(core dumped)
what! how did you know??!?
Rust may be good and all, but I doubt it's magically always write good A+ code, I'm sure some developers will slap all their code inside unsafe as a shortcut.
yeah i was mostly joking. rust will never catch up to javascripts beauty
Hey! Don't read my code!
(how else are you supposed to cast a lambda to a generic type parameter?)
rust: "You just translated someone else's essay"
There are only 3 engines capable of interpreting most of it.
it can run on almost any browser, it can be bundled to run on desktop or mobile. i know wasm exists but javascript is still sadly an extremely versatile language, mostly due to its support on the web