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Programming Languages as Essays (feddit.de)

submitted 1 year ago by Inductor@feddit.de to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] darcy@sh.itjust.works 86 points 1 year ago

haskell: "you submitted your math work instead of an essay"

javascript: "this is awful, but at least i can read it anywhere i like"

lisp: "it is not grammatically correct to nest brackets so much"

lua: "your vocabulary is too limited and you have the writing skills of a child"

rust: "omg. your essay is fast, safe, and perfect in every way! A+"

css: "this is beautiful, but it doesnt say anything"

[-] starman@programming.dev 84 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

C#: did you just copy Java's essay and put your name on it?

COBOL: why it looks like it's from 16th century?

PHP: I did not ask for a spaghetti recipe

alternative Rust: it's great, but I asked for an essay, not "🔥 Blazingly fast rust-based EssayOS"

[-] newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago

C# is Java in good

[-] 30p87@feddit.de 14 points 1 year ago

C# is Java except from Microsoft, which means it's designed and much more integrated with Windows. The official .net core even brings telemetry right out of the box. Using C# apps on Linux is a pain, which is very bad considering it's supposed to be like Java - compile once, run anywhere - except Java actually achieves it.

Also, Minecraft runs on Java. Therefore, C# is useless. Boom, destroyed /s

[-] newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

Untiy games are programmed in C#

So point for Java

[-] 30p87@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

True. F Unity, I prefer C/C++ with eg. Raylib. (Fr tho, I hate not having direct control over my whole code.)

[-] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Stardew Valley runs on C#.

ROASTED

[-] starman@programming.dev 10 points 1 year ago

Yes, I know. I'm a .NET dev myself, it's just a joke

[-] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Java developer here. Can confirm (from what I've read about C#, anyway).

[-] raubarno@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Rust v3: "It's three hours and I'm still compiling dependencies"

EDIT: Also, "What does Option[Arc[Mutex[BTreeMap[String, Box[RefCell[Box[amp mut F>>>>>>> where F : Fn(T) -> U in your essay mean?" (srry, I didn't come up with a better obscure data type, it's probably gibberish)

EDIT2: Lemmy deletes 'less than' sign for some damn reason (time to build Lemmy at home?)

[-] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago

My friend partially explained how the build safety system worked for Rust and my first reaction was "holy shit the link stage must take a century".

"Yes."

[-] drbluefall@toast.ooo 3 points 1 year ago

worth

[-] kattenluik@feddit.nl -5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I don't think you should criticize a language that you clearly have not even learnt the syntax of. Dependencies are also a one-time compile and linking just your own program or library does not take very long, and if you've ever worked with C languages it's all the same.

Just because you don't know how to read a languages syntax doesn't mean it's bad, it's just like how you have to learn anything else. Rust is quite self-explanatory afterwards.

[-] raubarno@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I do write Rust projects

EDIT: Well, it depends. If you statically compile everything with C build systems, in that sense, the speed should not differ from generic cargo workload. Although, in most cases, projects written in C are dynamically linked due to several reasons, one of which is code speed. In practice, even huge projects written in C (30k to 10k LOC) build quicker than C++ or Rust.

I'm not pooping on generics, either. Generics is a saviour for correctness and performance. Yet, I want to point out the type creep is still a thing, even though there's little we can do about it.

Anyways, this thread should be better interpreted with humor, instead of technical accuracy.

[-] kattenluik@feddit.nl 2 points 1 year ago

Fair, I just don't like it even when it's humorous as it still speaks of a language in a bad way.

Also, if you use a Unix system to build your projects I can recommend you check out Mold if you haven't yet as it speeds up the linking significantly.