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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Early-Retirement-22 on 2023-09-21 00:07:00.
I have always been good with money and am careful with it. I also inherited a good chunk to be fair, I was able to retire last year fairly early as these things go. I am not married and have no children. My sister in law asked me to help with her daughter's wedding. This is my brother's step daughter, there is no blood relationship. I suppose she is not really my niece, but they call me her uncle.
I initially told them I would help, I was thinking maybe $1,000 or so. I was going to give the same amount as a wedding gift, but they did not know that. They started booking things and asked if I could give them $15,000. Yes, I could, I just don't want to, I would give $1,000. My sister-in-law started pressuring me for more, I said no. $1,000 was a nice contribution for a step uncle (for lack of a better term). She then got angry and called me names, etc. This is where I might be an asshole.
I told her that the offer of any money is rescinded, I would not give a cent, not attend the wedding and not give a gift. She called me an AH and all sorts of other things. My brother called me an apologized for his wife and asked if I would consider $5,000. I told him that I loved him, but did not like his wife and that my decision to give nothing stands. He then joined the AH chorus.
AITA for rescinding my offer to $1,000?
YTA. You promised them money and they made plans based on it.
It’s not their place to expect any money from you at all … unless you promise them some money.