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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/refusingpauper on 2023-09-22 22:27:26.

I (M30) am close with my brother (M28) and his wife (F28). My wife (F30) and my SIL have been very good friends since they first met. They regularly meet up without me and my brother. I love the fact they are friends. We also meet up all together and we all get on well.

I suspected my wife was cheating on me. Long story short, this was confirmed with loads of evidence. I confronted my wife and she confessed. We are going through therapy.

Some of the evidence I found was on my wife's phone. While looking for evidence, I found messages between my wife and SIL. The messages show my SIL knew about the affair for months. In the messages she empathised with my wife. She said she would understand if my wife left me. She didn't exactly tell my wife off for cheating. My SIL didn't tell me. I didn't get any "anonymous tips" or hints or anything.

She didn't help my wife cover her tracks and she never lied to me to help my wife, but she could have told me and she chose not to. I don't think my brother knew.

My wife says its her own fault for cheating and my SIL was just being a good friend to her. My SIL says she has done nothing wrong. My brother backs up my SIL.

But I feel angry towards my SIL. It means 2 people who I'm close to have been deceitful to me. She helped to prolong my hurt.

So AITA for being mad at my SIL? Should I expect an apology from her?

Edit: 3 year old daughter. Married 8 years.

My wife said she got bored and fell out of love with me. But she said she realised her mistake after she cheated and now she wants to be back together. She said someone else would be lucky to have me.