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In addition to what everyone else already said, it takes a tremendous amount of energy to pump water uphill.
I wouldn't quit your day job... the career in stand up doesn't seem like it's going places...
Upvoted solely because this is the sort of unhinged comment that I missed about the old internet
Why? They have dump trucks and dams in Africa, you know. Or did you think this was before Africa became the world's fastest-growing and biggest market for cell phones?
Even as a slave, the cost of a human work is magnitudes above the cost of using a pump with petrol. A slave may be able to output ~1kWh per day, that's mostly a few 10s of cents anywhere. Can you feed anyone on that?