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this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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This is a genuine question: have you ever seen someone dressed in a way that you found inappropriate for an occasion? Or if not, can you imagine a scenario where that exists? Wearing white at a wedding, wearing bright colors at a funeral, etc? If so, you understand what these people feel. They take it to a very dumb place, but that's where the offence comes from. Luckily it seems to be dying in many ways - and having a less than fun rebirth in others
i haven’t seen one first hand but i can imagine such a scenario. this was a very good explanation, thank you.
what you said got me thinking a bit more about this and it’s made me wonder how much of this might be related to all the etiquette rules that people used to live by. i remember some of my older relatives getting visibly bothered if i held a fork the wrong way or put my elbows on the table, because it went against what they had drilled into their heads in classes when they were younger.
the ways i’ve heard the classes described make them sound like the teachers were very strict and were basically teaching children to be offended at behaviors that were “deviating from the norm” (for lack of a better term). i don’t know any people my age who attended etiquette classes, but my understanding is that it used to be much more common for older people.
i can’t help but wonder if the decreased cultural importance of etiquette is part of the reason people are more tolerant of different appearances. in some sense, they weren’t “taught” to be offended.