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What is the attraction to kids?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
139 points (85.6% liked)
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I'm only going to answer the first part of your question, not the AI/generated part.
No one really chooses what or who they're attracted to; it kind of just happens to you. For example, you might be watching a TV show and someone gets lightly, comically spanked... and suddenly a light bulb goes off above your head and you think, "whoa, that might actually be kinda fun." People are wired in ways we don't understand to want things we don't even know we want.
To that extent, pedophiles are themselves victims of their own desires; there's no "logic" behind it. It's simply an urge they experience.
Of course that doesn't make succumbing to this urge excusable, and any children who are impacted are of course victims and the pedophiles, predators. But no one is training pedophiles in pedophile camp. It's just humans being human, unfortunately.
This is something many people fail to realize - while society hates it exists, it is just an urge the same as my desire for women. We have just grown as a society to say this isn't right (correctly). There are many who have the urge, and don't follow up on it but its still there and they are a victim as well.
Fully agree though, this does not excuse those who act upon it, promote it or sell it.
Unfortunately I think it’s probably in the same vein as any fetish or preference, so completely out of their control.
Obviously people who act on it are the scum of the earth, but those who simply battle with the urge I have nothing but sympathy for. I can’t even imagine how horrible it is to have to deal with that daily and never be able to do anything about it, or even really talk to anyone about it.
A fetish is just a fetish until a person acts on it. Acting on it is NEVER out of their control.
As someone who doesn’t have to permanently stifle my desires for the entirety of my life, I’m not about to assume that. I have no idea the toll that could take on someone mentally.
I have heard that kids that molest kids or end up fooling around a super young age can make them grow up wired to be attracted to young kids or teens.
The real issue no one wants to address is people who have these desires and know it wrong have nowhere to turn to for help.
Even If they haven't abuse anyone come out tell a therapist or someone you are attracted to kids will and probably can get you locked up. There are those who never affend but a lot do because either a) they accept what they are and have no moral objections to it or b) can't get the help needed to fight the urges and end up offending.
As @Veraticus said there is no easy answer because it's not a choice. Be like asking you why you like women or why people are gay. They wired that and unfortunately I don't think you can cure it.
We definitely need to address access to any kind porn of it and if someone offends we must lock them away for their own good. Not saying prison but somewhere they can be mentally evaluated.
There is definitely a link between having experienced sexual abuse as a child without any therapy or counselling to help them make sense of it and then later on sexually abusing other children, but it’s not super clear-cut and definitely not predictable.
Yes same with girls who are raped or molested become promiscuous but doesn't mean all girls in that situation will. Definitely why we need better sex education in America so we can teach kids the signs if an adult being inappropriate and learn about their own bodies.
Acting on it is ALWAYS a choice. I don't really give a fuck how a person is wired if they choose to exploit children in any way, including by possessing sexual imagery of kids.
Therapists are reachable through a simple internet search. They're not going to lock you up if you haven't ACTED on it. Don't give me that shit about "they couldn't get treatment, so of course they had to look at kiddie porn" or tell me they have "nowhere to turn". Bullshit.
There is countless records of just that and even If there wasn't what do you think would happen to your life if you came out and said you are a pedophile?
You think you keep your job, house. You think you be banned from living near a school? These people live in secret even the ones who don't offend for reason.
Therapy can't do much not like there a cure. I don't know your preferences but let me ask did you choose to be attracted that way? If yes then means you can choose to be attracted to the other sex. See your logic doesn't hold up.
This is one of the most sane responses I've ever seen.
I am one of those poor souls who has these urges, but has never, and will never, act on them.
I'm willing to open myself to an AMA for anyone interested.
This is the most accurate answer, and the fact it's all cultural/social is quite important as well.
If you were born a few thousand years ago it may be completely reasonable to sleep with a kid. Hell the kid is probably your slave so you could literally do whatever you want with them.
But just as I don't understand certain fetishes or even just people attracted to the same sex, others won't understand why people would be attracted to kids.
That simply is not correct. While kids have been having sex with kids since, like, forever, looking back to medieval Europe, or even Rome, it was not normal for adults to be having sex with children, especially prepubescent children. Marriage ages for people that weren't nobility (e.g., getting married off to solidify political alliances) were typically early 20s. Children getting pregnant has always been a very dangerous proposition, since it's much more likely to lead to maternal mortality.
Part of the confusion about all of this is that we think people used to live compressed lives, since we see average lifespans in the 40s. But that's not taking into account the ferocious infant mortality rates; if you survived into your late teens, you were probably going to make it to your late 60s/early 70s, even in the middle ages. We think that, since 'average' life spans were 40-odd years, that people must have been marrying very young, but the evidence doesn't really bear that out.
You are incorrect sorry.
While we are on Lemmy, this Reddit AskHistorians post explains how common it was in Ancient Rome. AskHistorians is highly regarded as a good source of information. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/feeuye/how_was_pedophilia_considered_in_the_roman_empire/
Lol, did you really compare same sex attraction to pedophiles there? "I don't understand both"... Wtf dude.
You do realize that up until a few decades ago in most counties (and even today in some western countries) homosexuality was seen as immoral and illegal?
So yes, it's very comparable in that it's highly socially and culturally defined.
I listened to an amazing podcast about this a while ago. It was some science dude helping people not to be attracted to children. If somebody wants to have a listen I can probably find a link, but the podcast was in Swedish