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Extreme Misogyny in Incels Probably Not Caused by Sexual Frustration
(researchinenglish.com)
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this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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Why do you suppose dating is worse now? I will disagree any time and place with people who say online dating is awful. The alternative -- randomly hitting on people and hoping a million unknowable factors all line up -- is far worse.
You are joking right? Online dating is even worse than offline dating.
First of all there are far more men using online dating than women.
Second men like and Text way to many women which leads women's inboxes to be overfilled.
Most of the few available women only want the top 15% of the men.
Then the dead profiles aka. only their Instagram username tagged in bio.
And there are also those who chat with you for a few days and then try to sell their adult content to you or want you to invest in crypto XY.
I've met my gf on a dating platform 5 years ago and the online dating situation was bad then already. I occasionally saw the posts in r/tinder and oh boy has that thing become a shitshow since then.
Idk I'm a married dude nearing 40 who is on dating sites a fair amount (it's cool so is my wife), and I'm a pretty average guy all-around, and it doesn't seem like this hellscape you paint it as. I have everything possible stacked against me for online dating, and I consistently get what I'm looking for.
Yeah there are lots of crazies, but that's because crazy people exist, and you'd run into them in more traditional dating too. Check out any romcom from the 90s and there'll likely be a montage of crazies.
I am glad that online dating works out for you my friend. Don't wanna offend you but we are talking about young people. you turning 40 means you are middle aged. The customers of Tate and similar assholes are mostly under 30 years.
I regularly speak with women in their late 20s. My cutoff is 26 so I avoid people my daughter knows.
If you're on sites specializing in ENM that's probably why, niche enough that the bots and toxic algo practices haven't descended upon them yet
If there are ENM sites with people on them I'd love a link. I mainly stick to Tinder and Bumble because Feeld hasn't been adopted in my area.
Very open to suggestions tho.
Feeld has been really good for me compared to other apps. Im a relatively vanilla fellow but the culture around communication is stronger there and the results have been good. And Ive only been using it for single dating so far.
Hope it rolls out for you soon because it has been a refreshing experience
I really like Feeld, it's just that there's near-zero adoption here. I keep semi-active on it in the hopes the user number keeps growing tho!
Bloom is what I use right now
I'll check it out!
So you are a success story yourself for online dating, but because you see the most insane experiences from it getting posted on social media, it's obviously now irredeemable...? Do you not have any self awareness?
it's not a "success story". I've experienced ALOT of bad stuff before my gf messaged me. I've been on multiple dating platforms and all of them were toxic af. I was deleting my accounts while my gf texted me.
Having bad experiences doesn't erase the fact that you got a long term girlfriend from using online dating. That is still what happened. Unless you want to break up with your girlfriend right now, denying it's a success story is denying reality.
Like are you people really old or what? Everyone who can't stfu about how bad online dating is always confuses me.
Globalization and social media
Just read the articles on Tinder, it's a sad affair for the not attractive man
When all men you had access to where the village boys you won't be that picky. Once the whole world can sext you, why settle for the ok dude that looks nice in a suit if you squint enough?
I don't need to read articles, I have years of actual first hand experience
It goes both ways for "not attractive" women as well.
This is purely anecdotal, but all of the "not attractive" men I have known who complain there's no women online for them are only talking about women who are more attractive than them. The ones who don't complain have realistic standards and can find matches. It also tends to help they don't have s shit attitude.
But it's still a numbers game. More attractive people get more matches, but that doesn't mean those are quality matches. I guess if all you're looking for is casual sex it makes a difference.
It does not, unless you mean "grotesquely not attractive"? Just read the articles, women are ruthless when rating men, so even "average" men can't get "average", or less-than, women (online dating)
You are underestimating the numbers by too much
most online dating apps want you to engage in casual sex and not find success because then you'll keep coming back. TInder, Bumble, etc. are first and foremost hookup apps and it's important to remember that.
It's been my experience that meeting people in person works and online dating just doesn't. I'm not saying all the female profiles on dating sites are fakes generated by the site to tempt men into subscribing, but I definitely am saying that if they were, my experience wouldn't have been different.
the entire concept of an incel did not exist until tinder came about. Read the article and paper. Hookup apps promote the type of promiscuous/chad behavior that incels want and fail to achieve ... thus causing their frustration