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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Extreme-Reaction-471 on 2023-10-01 18:21:01.
I have a four year old daughter. She is in her princess phase. My SIL and I differ on a few things but one thing we differ on is boy and girl clothes/toys. I am not even strict with it, when Emma ( my daughter) was little she wore all types of clothes since she is baby and she doesn’t care. At the time SIL would give baby boy clothes and I didn’t care.
The issue is she keeps doing. Emma is really clearly a girly girl. She likes dresses, she plays with fake makeup, she has a fake kitchen set. She has some boy toys like trucks and what not but they collect dust. I have talked to her before
It was Emma’s birthday yesterday and SIL gave her guy clothes. My daughter made a face when she saw them. I waited until after the party to give them back. My daughter made it retry clear to me that they were ugly and won’t wear them
We got in a huge argument and she called me a jerk for staying with gender stereotypes. I am doubting myself on this.
NTA.
Couple reasons:
never argue clothing with a four year old you will not win. Sister is a fool for buying stuff kid will not wear
gifts are meant for the recipient, not the giver
your sister's rampant refusal to acknowledge yout daughter's agency and preferences shows her entire schtick as being performative.