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this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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I have a pretty unique perspective on this as someone who's worked in churches my entire adult life. Probably the hardest interview question I've ever been asked--across both technical and non-technical interviews--was when I was interviewing to be the organist at a large UMC church in early 2019, right before the General Conference vote that set all of this off. They basically summarized the situation to me and then asked if I was comfortable coming into the position not knowing which way the vote would go. In many ways, this question felt like asking if I had principles and if I was willing to stick to them. As a progressive person, I had to really think about if I'd be ok being in a place where I wouldn't be allowed to play for a same-sex wedding.
That church's senior pastor was one of the leading figures in the movement to affirm LGBTQ members. We quietly performed at least one same-sex marriage while I was there, which was technically in defiance of the denomination's restrictions. Since then, I've moved to one of the most prominent progressive mainline Protestant megachurches in the US. We've had long standing partnerships with many LGTBQ organizations, and we do lots of tangible things for all sorts of underrepresented communities. We had a visiting trans pastor speak about a month ago, and they received an instant ovation from the congregation.
My point in all of this is that it frustrates me to see comment sections like much of this one where people insist that every church is a highly regressive place. As someone who's in the closed door meetings, I promise you that there are many that are not, and it's not just all a ploy to try to stay relevant in today's society. Some places really do support these causes because they believe in them.
(As a footnote, I'll say that I don't like to talk about my religious views online, as it might put me in a weird position with my current and potential future employers. An acquaintance of mine wrote a great blog post that sums up my feelings well.)
Your point is well-made, but I worry you're applying literal interpretation to rhetorical generalizing that require slightly deeper reading. For better or worse, humans like to make sweeping generalizations, and only in the most extreme instances do they legitimately believe they apply to everyone in that given population.
For example: The women tweeting about how "men suck" isn't thinking of every man that has ever existed; she knows men aren't a monolith; she has a picture in her mind of a particular type of man, one that has been a source of trauma for her and countless other women. If you know you aren't that type of man, then you know that her words aren't directed at you; the same principle, imo, applies to churches and religion.
Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, but on the whole religion is used as a tool of exclusion and oppression much more than it is used to promote compassion and progress. When people make generalizations about churches and religion, they're envisioning the regressive, bigoted zealot that has been the source of trauma for so many. The church you describe would not fall into that category, so try not to take such comments to heart.
I really like how you put this, and the example given.