CW HOMOPHOBIA: My mother said I was too young to be gay, and now I don't have the motivation to come out again. (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by ImASquirrelYipee@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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Hello, The 4 people in my family who I was considering telling my truth have previously shown acceptance of LGBTQ+ people. They are my mother, father, grandpa (mother's side, probably the most vocal ally I know), grandma (father's side). I recently came out to my mother. She stated that I was too young to be gay, too young to know, and that she wasn't going to believe me until I was over the age of 18. I am in the middle of my teens, and I do not believe I am too young. I now find myself unable to come out to anyone else. It took so much effort to get the words out of my mouth and now I don't know how to tell anyone else. I'm sure, I'm praying, that if I tell her dad, or my dad, or his mum, they'll accept me. They'll make it all right. I don't know what to do. How can I tell someone.

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[-] LucyLastic@beehaw.org 9 points 1 year ago

Do you have any IRL friends that know and are supportive? Having some backup physically with you when you come out can really help with nerves ... it's a really difficult thing to do, so how you're feeling is natural.

Your mother's reaction sounds like either a kneejerk reaction, it's very easy to be pro-LGBT when you're not directly confronted with it ... with a shock like that some people fall back on the homophobia they were raised in (that stuff sticks like dog doo to the bottom of your shoe). Take care of yourself first and foremost, but try and be patient with her - given time and space she might come around on her own or with just gentle nudging.

Whatever happens, in the world (both online and IRL) there are people who will genuinely support you and love you for who you are. Being brave enough to step out into the light is the hard part, and you've already taken the first step towards that - you can do it!