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Shouting at children can be as damaging as physical or sexual abuse, study says
(www.theguardian.com)
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this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
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Every woman I've dated was sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Most of them in childhood.
Which puts my anecdotal accounting at close to 80%. With myself and the girlfriend raped as an adult the two outliers.
what the fuck
And just about every single one was a family member. My ex-wife it was the neighbor kid. But outside of that all immediate family or in one instance, a cousin.
Half of all women, my dude. Statistics don't lie (though even that is probably under-reported)...
People can interpret it how they want and I was aware people would read into it. People read into everything though.
My interpretation is that growing up in an abusive environment I resonated with other damaged people and that me identifying with protecting my mom from my abusive dad rather than trying to be like my dad, helped other damaged people feel safe around me (generally, when I wasn't having a meltdown from my own trauma anyway).
And since my first girlfriend had nightmares from her abuse I learned young to be supportive of people with sexual trauma.
Child sexual abuse is more than just rape by an adult. But many people only consider this form of sexual abuse and that's why they think the number is high.
But child sexual abuse also includes fondling, exhibition, kissing, forced nudity, etc. Basically anything that leads to sexual gratification. And it also includes if these things are done by older children. I think if the age difference is greater than 2 years it's considered csa even if it was done with "consent" aka it's assumed the power/authority difference doesn't allow for consent to exist. Which seems like a fair assessment.
If you take all of that into consideration, the number is totally plausible.
Go look up “1 in 4.” It’s related to women specifically but it’s truly eye opening to how prevalent sexual assault is.
The amount of girls who are sexually abused is astounding. Honestly haven gotten my daughters to 12 and almost 14 without ever having had to experience this (unless they've misled us which I do not believe they would) is among my most proud accomplishments as a parent.
Ya I doubt that one too... if it was 25% there would be a lot more people in prison.
The majority of sexual abuse is by people known to the victim and much of it goes unreported.
There's this short series on Netflix called Unbelievable. I recommend every single person watch it, but especially anyone who wants / needs to know exactly what it's like to try to report sexual abuse to the police. It's dramatized but it's based on a true story of an 18 year old girl who was sexually assaulted by someone who broke into her apartment in the middle of the night. From the minute she reported it she was treated like a criminal. She was interrogated by cops who criticized her from the second they sat down. She ended up being charged and convicted of making false police reports. She was in some kind of group home at the time. She got in trouble, lost her friends, home, supports, and job. Several years later, the suspect assaulted another woman and was finally caught. I can't imagine the relief and vindication she must have felt. Except that the cops literally allowed the suspect to assault at least one more person before doing anything about it. It's a good thing it happened in another state because if it had happened in the same place they probably would have just arrested the second victim too.
But the depiction in the show is true to life. It's for everyone who has ever said "well if it actually happened then why didn't they just call the cops?"
tell that to all the unprocessed rape kits laying around in evidence