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Why cant the Middle East just chill out?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2023
130 points (68.9% liked)
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Bomb the entire region with pork rinds and aerosolized pig fat (offensive to both warring religions there, right?) for 6 months, and give everyone there a solid deadline to pack one small bag per adult on free one-way flights, daily, to a new 'homeland'. Canada can bequeath a region of northern Alberta-Sask-Nunavut for Jewish citizens, and.. I dunno, Argentina does the same for Palestinians. Evacuees are issued special passports granting citizenship to their respective new 'homelands'. The donor nations and new 'homeland' nations are each granted a one-time $1 trillion grant by the rest of Earth's nations to set up the new arrangements.
Oh, and finally. Death penalty for any evacuee and their descendants for 7 generations who even attempt to enter the 'other' homeland. And after that 6-month nonlethal bacon-bombing campaign, drop something over the entire 'holy land' to ensure it's uninhabitable for the next 10,000 years. No one can claim they weren't given a chance to leave by that point...
Time to take away not just the toys, but the whole damn playground.
Edit: wow, so many downvotes. Whatever, so tell me your plan to keep these two groups at bay, without any further needless deaths, geniuses.
Okay well I like your enthusiasm, but not sure big pork rind is ready to take a stand on the Israeli Palestine conflict.
They currently have no skin in the game, which is saying something because their whole game is skins. Crispy, salty, delicious skins.
yeah, blind genocide. that never went wrong
Genocide? Far from it, this proposal gives every single resident of the area a new life in a new land. Only far away from their adversary, and they can live their cultures, apart, in peace.
death penalty if they dont listen