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I’m gonna take half your house and if you don’t like it I’ll just try to kill you (royal you this is not a threat). On top of that I’m not just taking half your house down the middle. I’m taking the master bathroom, the en-suite, the kitchen, the study… actually I’m taking both bathrooms you can shit in the garage where you sleep from now on, also you can have the shed I guess. But you’re not allowed in the yard so you can’t actually go to the shed, just look at it and know that it’s yours. I promise I won’t store my tools in there when you’re not looking.

What’s that? You want a hose to drink from the garden spigot? No, I’ve decided that it’s in appropriate for you to have your own access to water. You can ask me for a cup when you’re thirsty.

Btw my cousin is moving in next week so you’re gonna have to move your shit to the left side of the garage

this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2023
544 points (90.2% liked)

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