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What kind of upbringing makes an incel?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
164 points (86.0% liked)
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Feminism does not exclude men.
What?
WHAT?
How can you think so poorly of men, to believe their only purpose in life is finding a sex partner, and blame feminism for anything? Maybe learn to respect yourself and realize that you have value and things to contribute to this world that don't have anything to do with romantic relationships.
Maybe some people want romantic relationships.
Women fought to have the lives of men: a public, non romantic life, and that's an excellent thing.
Many men today want romantic relationships. How is this a bad thing? What kind of monster are you to say that a man should suck it up and forget any idea of intimacy or romantic relationship with a woman?
This is exactly the reason why these people turn incels or machists. And you're not worth more than them.
I don't blame feminism. I don't blame the left. I point at their shortcomings. You can't build a world of equality of you don't include men.
The future is together.
Please point to exactly where I said that. It's fine to want a romantic relationship. But if anyone - man or woman or anything in between - defines their entire self-worth on that one single thing, then they're going to have a very bad time in life. Relationships end. People die. If the only thing you can see yourself as is the partner to another person and you lose (or can't get) that other person, then you're lost.
Work on being whole yourself and defining your value to and for your own self. Work, art, skilled hobbies, charity, friends, family. All of these things can provide value to your community. Find self worth outside of romantic relationships is the best advice for anyone in the world, even people who are currently in romantic relationships.
What you call lost is the very definition of human.
Looking for a relationship is not lost it is the most human thing to do.
What is more human than finding another human to procreate with?
Everything else you mention all valuable is secondary to social. The cruelest thing you can do to a human is to put them in solitary confinement.
Bro, you are going to have a difficult life, if you think of existing in your community as solitary confinement. I'd advise you to go get involved in something. Go find a maker space to volunteer at, volunteer at the library, talk to your neighbors, join some kind of outdoor activity group.
You can do all of this while ALSO trying to date. You can (and should) do this kind of stuff even after you get married. You can't just sit around feeling bitter and expect a relationship to solve that for you. That right there is a perfect recipe for a relationship that will fail. You have to be your own person even when you're in a relationship.
There's more to "being social" than just finding a person to have sex with you and calling it a day.
"existing in your community as solitary confinement." -- Chetzemoka
What a strange take. Isn't this a contradiction? Anyways I just want to point out that this is.... A wrong take. Very strange and very wrong take.
Just know that being social is being human. You seem to forget that at times.
Read some feminist theory then.
Or maybe try to understand the people around you instead of diabolizing them.
I hope you realize that this very message of yours is asking men to man up and stop complaining. You are hereby promoting toxic masculinity.
Lmfao, if you're not capable of seeing the gulf of difference between "hey man, never express any emotion ever" and "hey adult, take some responsibility for your feelings and work on yourself" then I can't help you.
I don't need the help of someone who doesn't want to understand.
And you know what? That's exactly the problem incels face: the only people trying to help them are like them, so mostly unable to help, and fascists, your enemy and mine.
But keep growing the ranks of your enemies. It's not like if fascism was at our doorsteps...
Excuse me? I have to save "incels" or the fascists will win? What is this nonsense?
Incel is not a word I would ever use to describe even one individual, let alone an entire group. You know why? Because I have more respect for people than that. Maybe you should too.
You literally said "men are helpless" and yes, you are correct that I am unable to help anyone who claims that they are helpless.
When you respect people, you try to understand them. You are not doing that here. You are merely bitching, offended that I, a man, dared to criticise feminism.
"merely bitching"
Nice buzzwords in response to them calling out total gibberish, I'm convinced!