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How can I become a better conversationalist?
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this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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No Stupid Questions
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Ultimately…. Practice.
Small talk (or more talk,) is a skill, some people have some natural aptitude, but it usually needs development.
You can start with small talk- especially with strangers or acquaintances. Quips about the weather, or if they ask that ever so annoying “how are you”- with no real desire for an actual answer (like 99% of the time,) something like “oh, one day better than Monday.” Usually gets people to pause, maybe smile. Maybe even a chuckle.
As you get more familiar, ramp it up. Ask about their favorite book, or maybe ask about something they mentioned last time. Maybe if you know what the do, ask something relevant to current events they might have insight on. (They might not shut up,)
The hard part is getting started, though, it’s best to practice in social spaces- maybe library events or social clubs surrounding activities.
Keep in mind, it’s okay to not fill the silence. It might feel awkward, but if there’s nothing to say, leave it at some ironic comment about the weather.
mostly, don’t be nearly so self conscious- all the stupid things we kick ourselves over… most people never really notice. Just sit back and ask questions, let them steer the conversation. It’s okay to ask stupid questions, as long as it’s actually sincere.