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Grandma's marriage advice (startrek.website)
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[-] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Wtf is with these comments? I personally think every participant in a relationship should have their own bank account. My wife and I have our own personal accounts, as well as a shared account for bills. Our kids will also have their own accounts.

Doesn't matter how strong you think your "bond" is. Y'all going to ignore historical data on divorce rates because "omg they're the one forever!"?

Having worked at a law firm as their IT person, that shit is extra messy. Not to mention all the abuse from people who dangle money as a way to them to stay together. Or the flip side, one person emptying out an account because fuck you.

It's not about trust. It's about financial responsibility.

[-] navi@lemmy.tespia.org 59 points 1 year ago

It's not about having your own account, it's about hiding it.

None of the personal accounts in your family sound hidden (unless you don't know about them 😂).

[-] Cylusthevirus@kbin.social 34 points 1 year ago

The comments here are objecting to the secrecy, not the account.

[-] hansl@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

Divorce doesn’t protect your personal bank account. That money doesn’t suddenly becomes yours. When splitting assets, personal accounts and even safety deposit boxes are included (unless a prenup arrangement).

And the “secret” part is the problem. Seems to me grandma isn't advising her to have a personal bank account like everyone; she wants her to have a bank account the husband doesn’t know about. There’s a difference.

On the first point, it largely depends on the state the divorce happens in. States have differing definitions of what's considered common property. In some states only joint accounts are subject to asset splitting.

[-] Halafax@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Divorce doesn’t protect your personal bank account. That money doesn’t suddenly becomes yours.

Yes, but no. If you are married and only have joint accounts, you can't do much to prevent the other person from withdrawing from those accounts until you get into see the magistrate. At a minimum, you should have a separate account if you are paid by direct deposit.

The comments I've seen only say not to keep it a secret. I agree everyone should have a personal bank account and I would assume my partner has one

[-] Rayspekt@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

The big problem imo is to keep it secret. If my SO is trying to have secret account that's a big red flag.

this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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