I'm sorry your life has been so rough for you. And like someone below already wrote, you're not alone even if I'm just some random internet stranger. ( Thelsim, nice to meet you, maybe a little less of a stranger now )

I'm in my early forties now and had my share of ups and downs. At my mid-twenties I was at my lowest point, depressed, completely listless. I didn't have the energy to do anything to change my life. I got stressed out so much that I just buried my head in the sand and waited for fate to just end it for me in one way or another. In the end I got lucky and my mother managed to get through to me. I got some more lucky and managed to land a job that I was actually good in and which helped me grow confidence in myself.
It was a combination of luck and a hard push to do something that improved things in life for me. I wish I could say that it's possible for everyone, but I don't want to sound like some kind of self-help book. The one thing I can say is that gaining self-confidence matters a lot, it will shine through in all aspects of your life. Find something about yourself you can feel proud of, a skill, achievement, or just an impact you leave on other people's life. A sense of self-worth has been a lifesaver for me.
As for things getting easier when you're older. In a material sense, if you're on a decent career path, yea I guess. But in a psychological sense? Not really, I can still be massively insecure and am often searching for validation. Imposter's syndrome will always haunt me. The only difference is that I know myself better and can stop a little faster when I'm heading in the wrong direction.

Anyway, that's just my life. It pales in comparison to the hardships you and others have endured. But I still wanted to share my experience and I hope it helps a little.