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‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps
(www.theguardian.com)
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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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Hobbies if you have time or money? And not hobbies for the sake of trying to find someone romantically, but something you genuinely enjoy. Local game stores can be a good way to find out about other adjacent events (if they are big enough) or trivia nights at bars, etc.
Ahh most of my hobbies have mostly outpriced me as well.
When I was motivated to go out and do hobby stuff, it was mostly a male dominated space so 90% of the time I just felt like a meat bag, and it really killed my desire to go out and do hobby stuff. So I ended up mostly at home.
The problem is that a lot of my hobbies are male centric.
Picking up something for the sake of finding someone is a shit reason to pick a hobby, to be frank. You mentioned the girl who said all the guys kept hitting on her and she was trying to just have a beer or whatever, that's how it feels from a woman's perspective. You're just trying to go out and do something menial in life that everyone should be able to enjoy unmolested, or have the right to at bare minimum, and suddenly it's dick o'clock.
I mean idk. I see it from a woman's perspective, having been in that situation numerous times, I can tell you 90000% of life would be easier if I was just a dude. I could just go out and enjoy absolutely banal, stupidly mindless shit and nobody would bat an eye, because penis, I guess? Being objectified blows ass.
Not saying you were one of "those" guys, but to put it in perspective maybe, both of you were at opposite ends of the lonely spectrum, and felt isolated for different reasons.
I think everyone would be a lot happier in life, or at least at peace, with some solid introspection and having a sit down (with yourself) about things. There is so much social pressure to go out and do XYZ because fomo and you get so easily swept up in it when your immediate social and cultural circle is constructed on potentially damaging or dated concepts. I think there is much more to be gleaned from asking why you feel a certain way then trying to find how to put a bandaid on it.