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‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps
(www.theguardian.com)
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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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I've been on like 5 or 6 dates from the few years I lived in NYC (it was right before COVID happened, of course). Not a single one of them looked like they went out of their way to prepare for the date. Usually just jeans and a nice shirt, or maybe a cute dress, but they didn't get all dolled up like they were going to prom. One worked in finance and came from her job, and then went back it to after our date. This was like 8 pm.
If you want to spend a bunch of money, starve yourself, and do various other things so you feel that you look good, that's on you, don't expect the guy to pay for you just because you feel you're owed it because of what you did. That's really not much different than the guy who is like "I bought her a present so she should be willing to have sex with me now".
This comment is hilarious because you assumed I'm a chick.
Hair, makeup, nails, and outfits are what it costs for a woman to just go outside, not to prom. A regular ass haircut can easily be a hundred dollars. I didn't even mention all the skin creams that make you look "naturally beautiful". Have you even heard of waist trainers?
A lot of women, especially in NYC, are doing this regularly even when they don't have a date. NYC is lopsided with more women than men. That's how they get dates. If you know any women who don't put much effort into their appearance, you start to realize they don't go on many dates.
Unsure if you literally mean removal of hair in the ass, which you might also believe is expected of all women before they just go outside ... or if you're just swearing to seem like a dynamite chick?
It's possible a total makeover every day is how some people get their dates - it's a style, and it attracts certain types of people. But by having that "dumb" appearance, they also help all the brainier people who are looking for a partner with more in the head than on it, discarding them, since brainy people are more often interested in finding meaningful relations with interesting minds, rather than meeting "perfect" appearances, I believe.
I understand it's a serious problem that many try to live up to all these "beauty" expectations. It sounds like it's a bit of a burden to you, and I'm sorry if you and the people around you are seriously unable to discard the definition BigBeauty told you through many years of carefully planned commercial ads, but every real definition of beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and since only some of us truly believe in what BigBeauty claims, it doesn't necessarily prequire a daily total makeover of your face for someone to think you're beautiful.