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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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I'm a school bus driver and it's genuinely depressing how often I see a parent waiting with their kid for the bus, face down in their phone instead of paying the slightest bit of attention to their child. I also find it depressing to see a person walking their dog while looking at their phone - not sure dogs actually give a shit but somehow they manage to look sad and neglected anyway in these situations.
Talking from the other side, it's far harder than you think. Children can be incessant. They seem to be energy vampires. They suck the energy out of their parents, then funnel it right back, in the form of questions, chatter or desire for amusement. Maintaining the correct mindset is absolutely exhausting.
One of the hardest things is balancing being a "parent" with being "you". If you try and just be a parent, you will burn out, and be a REALLY shitty parent. You need the balance between the two.
I don't begrudge parents grabbing a few minutes of "me" time, when they can. Unfortunately, some don't (or can't) properly plan it into their lives. They then burn out and just grab whatever they can. This leads to the sort of behaviour you mentioned.
I like the way you explained not all the people on the phone are shitty parents! I think it's a very nice and positive way of thinking about people. Just for the sake of balance I would like to add that shitty parents do exist, unfortunately. But I agree not all people that seem shitty at first glance are!
Agreed shitty parents exist. Some are just shitty, others are shitty because they've burnt themselves out.
I've definitely been the parent on the phone at the park, only because she's finally playing, without wanting to include mummy and daddy in everything! Someone walking by would see a shitty parent. In fact, it's a parent taking the short time they are engaged in independent play to recharge enough to be positively engaged for the rest of the evening.