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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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So, how should people find mates? Obviously these stupid apps don't work and the chance encounter system we use in western societies don't, and neither do the marriage-as-transaction systems societies used centuries ago, or the subjugation of any one gender. So how should we ensure most people who want a mate get one?
First thing to do is to not use neckbeardy scientific language like 'find a mate'. It makes me think of the way ferengi say 'Female'. It comes off as very creepy and lecherous.
Go do things you enjoy doing. Find local groups or hobby/card/game shops with events. Get to know people. Become a known person. And be yourself. Pretending to be anything or anyone you aren't will always backfire in a real relationship.
The big thing is to never go out with the goal of hooking up or finding someone. It adds an extra layer of weirdness if you do meet someone, and a massive extra disappointment every time you don't. Just be friendly and casual. Things will fall into place.