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Selfhosted
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Personally I would strongly recommend learning how to do all of this. And then abandoning it for tailscale or something similar once you know what they're doing behind the scenes. It's incredibly useful knowledge but it's also nice to have so much of the process automated and best practices like key rotation done for you. Plus unless your network is hugely crazy or enterprise, you can manage for the really great price of $0.
And if you really really want to self host (which I understand) there's headscale for a lot of the features.
Thanks for the tip. Haven't used tailscale (or sth similar) yet. But I'll take a look into it :)