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‘Pure greed:’ Etiquette expert explains why tipping has gotten out of control
(www.clickorlando.com)
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this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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I refuse to tip anywhere new and expand this practice... But with things like restaurants or delivery? Without organization, all that does is further underpay people for their work and increase the chances of spitting in your food
I don't think there's a good answer, so I just do it much less
As far as delivery, if I'm charged a delivery fee "because reasons", that's the extra money that is my tip. If they're asking for a tip as well, then no.
But instead of just not tipping, I just don't get delivery, which I haven't since the pandemic. Two or three experiences where I was trying to order and all the add on fees plus tips meant that dinner for one was going to cost over $45 and dinner for two, over $60 (when the entrees themselves were like $12-15) and basically that was enough to convince me not to do it.
At one place there was a delivery fee, a delivery service fee, a "take out packaging" fee, a service fee, a charge for ordering less than $25, a driver fee (which they were quick to tell me was not a tip)...and of course still asked for a tip, with the options being 20, 22, and 25%. Even choosing the lowest tip, my single meal was going to cost $46 for food that I could walk in, sit down, order, eat, tip, and leave...all for under $25.
Basically I just don't get delivery now, and while I know that won't break the system, maybe if enough people join me it will.
I used to think that way as well. But really, if spit in my food is being used as a threat to tip someone isn't that extortion?
I'm polite, easy to serve, and even if the food is over-cooked and way too salty (as it was for the single taco I ordered last time I was out) I don't ask for it to be returned. I'm a model customer, except I won't tip.
I'm not doing it to be cheap, or out of spite, or in disrespect for the service personnel. I'm doing it to apply pressure so that things will change for the better
Think of it as passive guerilla tactics against a broken system
But what about the inherent coercion of capitalism? The fear of having your food spit in is a kind of coercion, but despite the system being broken, people who rely on tips need that money to survive
It's a messy issue. If everyone refused to tip as a matter of course and they were paid a living wage I think things would be improved, but on a more immediate and direct level you're reducing their pay
It's a systematic problem... Maybe it can be handled individually, but that will create a lot of issues until the pressure of individuals can prompt systematic change
I would rather they felt the pressure to move on to different employment (if they can find it) than deal with the uncertainty and fickle nature of tippers
Where I live some restaurants have started requesting no tips because they pay their workers what they're worth. If those are around when I go out, I go there. In their absence I don't tip
Other countries of the world have it figured out, why can't the U.S? We can be better. Sometimes you have to take a hard stand that feels counter-intuitive to the causes you believe in, in order to push things in the right direction. Do I feel bad about not tipping? Certainly. But I want change for the better and that requires applying pressure to the right places
I'm not ideologically opposed to what you're saying - I agree with the end goal, I'm just worried about methods. I'm even fine with tipped employees suffering for a bit during transition
But changing jobs is purposely difficult...I don't think that's a fair demand through effectively reducing their wages
On the other hand, you brought up something great - if you have places around that have transitioned to a living wage, why not push to go there instead? Restaurants can make this change in a couple weeks if properly motivated, but it would take months of employees struggling until they leave to affect that level of change, and I'd argue a restaurant is more likely to look around and adopt a better business model when their customers dry up than to realize the reason they can't keep staff is due to tipping expectations
I'm all for your strategy to pressure the holdouts once the tides have turned in an area, and maybe your area is at that stage... But I don't think most of the country is nearly there yet
For sure. It's just that the last time I was out I wasn't able to do that. (An old employer had asked me to help out for the day on short notice, and I was on foot because driving/parking in the area is an expensive nightmare and there wasn't enough time to take a bus)
Frankly I'd rather make food at home. I'm a decent cook and don't have to be concerned with morality at all :)