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'True Self" by Sarah Andersen
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this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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I have similar experiences with wanting to desperately be part of conversations, but not being able to expel the words.
Have you looked into selective mutism? Or being a highly sensetive person?
That or Autism (which lends to Selective Mutism). The actual neurodivergency, not the internet's/4chan's idea of it. It's not always as visible and obvious as people think. People can go through their whole lives not knowing due to it impacting them as a series of miscellaneous, tangentially related difficulties and never actually finding out about how it affects your life.