You're right, it's a bit silly to claim that people don't make choices. I use the word "choice" all the time for something that I believe is happening in me and in others. The AI in a computer game also makes choices, every if/else statement in a piece of software is a choice. It comes down to what people mean with the word. What I disagree with is the notion that there's something ethereal happening that decides if a person "deserves" to be spit and kicked on - just on account of them being morally reprehensible and not based on any meaningful analysis of what would improve the situation.

but your solution is we sit with a sock in our mouth because it’s so very mean to tell Elon he’s a cunt “because he has no choice”.

That's misrepresenting what I'm saying. I'm absolutely not saying that we should just let him go on because he has no choice. That would be like letting an alligator roam free in the city because "it's just doing what alligators do." But to kick and spit on the alligator "because it's evil" isn't a good strategy either.

I'm saying Elon is a problem, and to fix the problem we should analyze what is causing the problem and devise a rational plan of action that will mitigate that as much as possible. At its core it's a question of mindset - are you just letting your anger out because he's the devil, or are you keeping a cool head and thinking about how to attack the problem at its root. Ultimately the goal should be to make the future better, not to exact retribution for the past.

The part about not being mean is not because I think he should be excused from his actions. It's because I think that being mean is counterproductive. It's pushing him further into the hole where we don't want him to be.

It's like debugging a computer program: we don't yell and curse at the program for having bugs; we try to figure out what is causing the bugs and fix them without being overcome by emotion.