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Ifixit gives fairphone 5 a 10/10 on repairability and maintanence
(www.ifixit.com)
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
Seems like an honest recommendation to me. You fit the apple use case pretty well, so if it works for you, great. I'd argue a stock pixel using stock android would be comparable in terms of not needing to mess with stuff since its a very curated experience, since google then controls the hardware and software, like apple.
The trade off is you're giving google (or apple) 100% access and control to everything you do on your phone.
With a fairphone or any other android with (e, grapheneOS, calyxOS, lineage, etc) you WILL need to change some settings, maybe play around with it a bit to get it working how you want, but you are the one in control. Its really not that difficult to develop the small amount of technological knowledge needed given the amount of help available online and I'd say its a necessary life skill these days just like learning to use a computer became a necessary life skill.