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Alabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her Shirt (www.theonion.com)

submitted 11 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[-] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 43 points 11 months ago

“If you didn’t want to keep the basketball, you shouldn’t have shoved it up your shirt. You knew the consequences of this going in, and your failure to comply with Alabama law means you could face life in prison for ripping out that helpless ball. Who knows what it could’ve gone on to accomplish if you hadn’t committed this atrocity?”

Damn. I hate how on point this comparison is.

[-] tpyo@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

The final line was a nice gut punch

At press time, authorities stated the middle schooler would not receive any leniency despite evidence the basketball had been placed up her shirt by her father.

[-] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 11 months ago

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 3 points 11 months ago

I was never more horrified than when I read that sentence. An solid punch .

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this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023

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