The Onion

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92

Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 2 hours ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink

2

170

Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 1 day ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

3

416

Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year (theonion.com)

submitted 1 day ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

11 comments fedilink

4

409

‘Woke media is harming our children psychologically’, insists man who is perfectly fine with them doing active shooter drills at elementary school (newsthump.com)

submitted 2 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

5

109

Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider (theonion.com)

submitted 2 days ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

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1018

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens (theonion.com)

submitted 3 days ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

132 comments fedilink

7

572

Opinion: Millennials Would Be Able to Afford Homes If They Didn’t Let Older Kids Trick Them Into Giving Up Their Most Valuable Pokémon Cards (hard-drive.net)

submitted 3 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

24 comments fedilink

8

335

Donald Trump Promises To Bring Fruitopia Vending Machines Back to Public Schools if Elected in Latest Unhinged Rant (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

37 comments fedilink

Until this moment I completely forgot about those things

9

300

Slippery Slope: Funk Singer Asking You to Give It to Him One Time Probably Going to Ask You to Give It to Him Two Times (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 days ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

26 comments fedilink

10

116

Opinion: The Fact That the Muppets Only Took Manhattan Means They’ll Never Be “Real” New Yorkers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 days ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink

11

607

Sources Allege Tim Walz’s ‘Aw, Shucks’ Persona Merely Facade Concealing True ‘Gee Whiz’ Tendencies (theonion.com)

submitted 4 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

12

97

Elon Musk Threatens ISS Crash Over X Ban (isglitch.com)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

10 comments fedilink

SpaceX CEO claims it's "just a prank" in escalating Brazil dispute

!isglitch@lemmy.world

13

266

Cat Scientists Theorize About Third Type Of Food That Neither Wet Nor Dry (theonion.com)

submitted 5 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

15 comments fedilink

14

177

'Boneless' pizza can have bones, US court rules (lemmy.ca)

submitted 6 days ago by MindTraveller@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social

16 comments fedilink

15

318

Lucky Astronauts Still Stranded in Space During Election Year (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 6 days ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

16

533

Francis Scott Key Estate Sends Cease-And-Desist To Trump For Playing ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ At Rally (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

17

305

Dozens Of Pregnant Women Caught In Hanging Snare Nets Above Texas Hospital Entrance (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

18

578

Trump Calls Out Arlington National Cemetery For Hazard-Filled Fairways (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

11 comments fedilink

19

522

Study: Crows Intelligent Enough To Steal Trinkets, But Foolish Enough To Think Material Goods Will Solve Problems (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

13 comments fedilink

20

89

Husband Asks If Ectopic Pregnancy Good Thing (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

21

200

Woman Wastes Free Monthly Cincinnati.com Article On Story About High School Golf Team (theonion.com)

submitted 1 week ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink

22

133

Stop & Shop Discontinuing Cigarette Sales Due to Decline in Cool Teenagers (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

1 comments fedilink

23

71

AI Pilot Leaves Air Force for Southwest Airlines (www.duffelblog.com)

submitted 1 week ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink

24

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Disney lawyers sneak ‘unmanned aerial drone strike for anyone sharing login details’ clause into Disney+ T&Cs (newsthump.com)

submitted 1 week ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

4 comments fedilink

25

117

Local Prankster Hacks Kroger's Price-Gouging AI, Triggers City-Wide Discount Bonanza (isglitch.com)

submitted 1 week ago by EtAl_isGitch@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink