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submitted 10 months ago by NickwithaC@lemmy.world to c/fediverse@lemmy.world

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[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 46 points 10 months ago

Communities like this always skeeve me out. I know that I'm just being cynical, but random internet strangers aren't really a great place to go to get information and help if you are in one of these circumstances. At best you'll end up in an echo chamber of people who will just keep you on the same downward spiral, and at worst you'll run into someone who will try to take advantage of your vulnerability. Sure, there may be some out there that are qualified to help, but their voice will be drowned out by the throngs of, "Yeah! Fuck your parents! Hop a train!" and "Hey, I've got a warm van you can sleep in if you need some place."

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

What would you suggest people who are going there looking for help do instead? Pay for therapy they can't afford or just suffer in silence? You make it sound like people are literally weighing therapy and professional help against online communities as though they are both equally accessible options.

So in other words, you have the choice and assume most others do too?

[-] Signtist@lemm.ee 22 points 10 months ago

Honestly, most of the people in places like that are people who already found their way out, and now just want to shoot the shit with other people who understand what they've been through. If I hadn't had my sister to talk to about our insane mom, it would have been a lot harder for both of us to move on from her and become healthy, well-rounded adults - I imagine internet communities like these are a good alternate resource for when people don't have real-life support from someone who understands what it's like. But yeah, when you've got a parent who thinks all of science is one big scam, you're never going to be able to see a legitimate therapist.

[-] SimplyTadpole@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Honestly, most of the people in places like that are people who already found their way out, and now just want to shoot the shit with other people who understand what they’ve been through.

At least in my experience, that wasn't the case at all. I used to hang out in communities like that back in the late 2010s, and me as well as multiple folks were people who still hadn't managed to shake off their abusive narcissistic parents due to us being young teenagers or unable to get a job, and needed an emotional support group. While yes, there were also multiple people who already had shaken off their N-parents, they certainly weren't the only group and there were still many who either were still stuck living with them, or people who were living on their own but were still dependent on their parents in some way or otherwise forced to see them once in a while. And a nice chunk of the people who did manage to go low- or no-contact with their abusive parents still gave the emotional support for those of us who didn't have the means to do so.

Telling someone to seek professional help instead feels like such a slap in the face for people in such a situation because, for the most part, they literally can't - at best, it's simply because they're completely financially dependent on their parents and can't afford a therapist (and it might be resolvable if they get enough donations to afford checkups and their parents are the neglectful variety and don't really care about that), but at worst (and it's almost always at worst) they're control freaks who believe therapy is a scam and you wanting to do it instead of "praying the depression away" means you're not religious enough, or they would see it as an affront due to the implication of their child being traumatized by them and get furious and punish them, or be insulted/freaked out by them receiving money from strangers online and cut their entire access to the internet altogether. It's simply not an option. So having an online emotional support group they don't need to cough up money for is simply the next best bet for many, and while it won't solve the problem, it'll at least make it manageable. I know it did for me.