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I banned my kid from Roblox.... what next?
(lemmy.ml)
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this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2023
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Is this what we're doing instead of actually parenting? Roblox sucks, but you know what sucks even more? Being left out of the friend group because your parent is digging their heels in on some issue they can't understand. Plus, where is the brightline for this? Would you ban your kid from playing Fortnite because of the skins? Counter strike when he's older? Clash of clans?
You could play Roblox with him and explain what's wrong with the games. You could help build his taste to not like the games that want to charge him out the ass and let him move past Roblox on his own. You can help him learn to make games and help him learn enough to want to move to something else. Otherwise, you're just going to seem like an asshole. Because from reading this, you clearly just watched some video essay on Roblox and dug your heels in based on that.
Would you kindly fuck off? I am allowed to parent my children how I see fit. I provide him plenty of high quality games and multiple gaming systems and I want to make sure that his limited video game time is at least stimulating.
You made the correct choice getting rid of Roblox and you don't deserve to get flak for it, but
This is a shitty way to view the question. As someone with unique authority over the child, you are obliged to do your best at doing right be them.
"But I am!" you say
Then say that instead of this children-as-property shit
That's what I'm more upset about. The logic behind these decisions that has been expressed simply isn't sound parenting. This kid just got his favorite toy taken away, and while it isn't meant as punishment, it will feel like punishment. The logic expressed in the post is regurgitated out of a video essay, and makes it sound like Dad doesn't even know why he's taking it away. My situation was a little bit different, adopting someone else's kid who had an entirely different life before me, but I feel like the shock therapy of just banning it with video essay logic is weak even if they are fully your children. As someone who was on it as a kid, I don't like Roblox overall. However, I've found just teaching him why I don't like Roblox has been more effective than just pulling it away and giving a poorly thought out explanation why. Now he's come to the conclusion of the emptiness of Roblox himself, I didn't have to force it.
Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Giving them the information on their level and giving them choice usually pays off with kids. They can usually understand way more than we expect them to as long as we can break it down for them. It's one thing to be the weird kid who can't play Roblox because your parents don't want you to, it's another thing to be the kid who just doesn't want to play Roblox. I'm saying that this is a situation where you can have your cake and eat it too, and that's by educating your kids to make good decisions and give them ample opportunity to practice that skill.
The marketplace of ideas tends to be a much weaker force than "what are my friends playing?" I'm all for treating kids as people, but that also means understanding that people mostly choose what lets them get on with their peers the most easily.
Why do you think I am not trying to be the best parent? Do you know my child? No? Then you don't know what is best for them. In this case, it is the best. Roblox is garbage tier games on a platform made by exploitation of children for the exploitation of children. Just because I am man enough to call that out and make the tough decisions doesn't mean people need to personally attack me for it. Dangers to our society evolve - it's like slapping a crack pipe out of the hand of a family member... just digitally.
This is a reading comprehension issue. Look at what I said more carefully, I am implicitly supporting the idea you are trying to help your kid and telling you to argue from a standpoint of human benefit rather than sovereignty. With the rise of Christian nationalism, we're only going to see an uptick in "children are the property of the parent" style reasoning, and we should all be fighting it.
Pay no attention to the people who don't have kids. You're doing just fine. The fact that you're asking honestly makes you a better parent than many.
Kids, as you well know, are gonna figure out unimaginable ways to get themselves in trouble. I've had to tell more than one of my kids, "I'm gonna let you make all the mistakes you want, and I'm gonna be there to pick you up, but I am not going to let you make permanent mistakes." When it comes to advertising, microtransactions, OnlyFans (yes, OnlyFans), the lesson is "these things exist for one purpose, and that is to separate you from your money as much as possible." If you are paying for something, stop and consider whether you can get a substantially similar thing for free, or at least for a lot cheaper.
From reading your other comments, it sounds like you and the other parents all agreed together to drop the hammer on all the kids at once. That is a good idea, and it's great that you have lines of communication open to your kid's friends' parents. That's going to be important when they're older and driving cars, and having access to intoxicants and mall ninja shit.
To your actual question - I saw someone mention Minecraft, that is a fantastic choice. There are "skins" and shit that can be bought, but the game itself it absolutely fully playable and enjoyable without anything beyond the initial game purchase. Running a private server is pretty easy, and I would recommend it, so that the friend group always has a place they can go where the annoyances of the internet-at-large are excluded. Besides that, a kid who is motivated to modify his own Minecraft server is going to be driven to figure out how to do it, and that kind of skill will be super useful for oh so many things throughout life.
If they like arena combat games, Crossout is pretty fun. World of Tanks is okay, but the grind curve is steep. War Thunder is fun for planes and ships, but I am not a fan of their tank play mechanics. All of those are free to play, yes you can buy stuff, but you absolutely do not have to.
There's a single player game that I have to mention: The Long Dark. Winter survival, and there's also a storyline mode. The storyline is really good, and the map is absolutely vast. While it's not one they would be able to play together, it's a great exploration and survival game, and I would be remiss if I didn't point it out.
The Long Dark is brutal.
You were asking for advice, and she gave you some solid suggestions. IDK why you're getting so bent out of shape.
Edit: Adding this article to maybe give you some more detail. Play the game with your kid and see what about it they enjoy. If you want to introduce them to better games, you'll need to have an idea about what they like.
No, that wasn't advice. That was judgemental and without cause. I am asking for game suggestions because this isn't meant as a punishment - it is meant to let the kids have an upgrade. But I guess I didn't tiptoe around everyone's overly sensitive feelings over here.
You gave absolutely no context about what kinds of things your child enjoys in video games. Go figure that out first. If you don't know that, and you're taking the game he enjoys away he's 100% going to see it as a punishment.
Thanks for presuming I don't know what my kid enjoys. Why do you have to be such a dick with the personal attacks? I am asking for advice on multiplayer games. You're being a dick. I bet you make a lot of friends that way.
You know what's more stimulating than any individual game you'll have him play? Making his own choices on what to play. And like I said, brightline, what is and isn't stimulating to you? Are shitty flash games banned for being too simple minded?
Parenting is your kid learning from you. They're not learning why you're banning Roblox, and if you explain it to them they don't really understand. My kid is starting to not fuck with Roblox anymore because of how pay to win some of the games are. He had to do a lot of chores for those Robux and instantly wished he had the money for better things a couple days later when he wanted a plushie at the store. When I told him he could have gotten that plushie if he hadn't gotten Robux, he stopped wanting Robux. He learned the value of money, and learned to prioritize the things he wants, and coincidentally doesn't want to play Roblox like he used to. I didn't have to be the bad guy because most kids have things they want more than Robux. All I had to do was make him choose.
Seriously, download and play Roblox with him. There are a million different games on there, you can even filter games on the site. Some of the games are actually really fucking good. Meet him where he's at, set rules so he has to play Roblox with you. You can actually monitor what he's playing and doing, while getting in some bonding time. Because your Dad playing tag or whatever dumbass things we were into as kids was way usually way cooler than playing Dad's game. You're going to be
I don't think you quite understand how bad Roblox is.
Think of the most predatory games you can imagine.
Roblox is far fucking worse.
Not only is it a money grubbing game like the worst of mobile free-to-play games, it encourages content creators to exhibit the same behaviours and does nothing about blatant fraud on the platform. Something it's money obsessed nature actually encourages and rewards.
If the shit that goes on in Roblox went on in Facebook to nearly the same degree, Meta would be raked over the coals for it; even Meta haven't stooped so low.