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Must Watch Video on why the Star Wars Fandom Hates LGBTIAQ+ People
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Yeah, The Force involves life and death. The Force's will is actually to embrace a balance of both. But Dark Side users go against the will of the Force, for the sake of power or even for the sake of extending their own life or others.
I would argue that Luke and Ahsoka are great examples of gray Jedi (especially if we don't count sequel material). In Luke's case, in the OT it could be argued that his love for his friends, when he leaves Yoda to save them, and his belief that there was still good inside his father, made him a better Jedi than all before him. To me, he rejected tradition to do what was right. And that is what makes a great Jedi.