OP, don’t feel alone or hopeless. There are more of us out here who know exactly what you’re describing because we experience it ourselves.

It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that it’s your fault for experiencing this - there’s not much you can do to “fix” it, if anything. I’ve been to a therapist and medical professionals, and basically noise cancelling AirPods or ear plugs in public are the only solution. And maybe some medications.

We used to have neighbors with several small children who would - at the same time every day - go play in their backyard. Normal kid thing. But if I was outside, I’d have to go back in. The frequency or pitch or whatever you want to call it of the loud shrieks was literally painful. I would cry.

I see other replies saying it may be a factor of you not being able to express yourself in the same way as a child. I wasn’t either because my mom is terrified of the outside world & it would make her think I was in danger. Whether this played a role or not I have no idea. I don’t want to attribute it to purely psychological reasons when it sounds like there is potentially also an actual physical medical explanation. Maybe it’s a combination, maybe not. Who knows.

It’s a fact of life that IMO you cannot control and will have to have a plan for if and when it occurs. Earplugs, leaving the triggering situation, medication, I hope you find something that works. It is fucking painful. And I can’t control that. And it’s no one’s fault…we just try to avoid situations where young children will be present (which is really fucking hard at times for a woman, btw…baby showers! Parties where the women are expected to be the caretakers because….uterus, I suppose?).

Anyway, best of luck to you, it’s not your fault, and feel free to reach out any time.