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this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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For me it comes down to: knowing what I do now about myself, would I go back and change things?
School sucked. Not only was it often boring and almost killed any enthusiasm I had for learning, but I was one of those kids who never really had to study to at least keep a B average, and it ended up hurting me in the long run. I was able to just coast through school and never developed the skills to study and for being able to fail and get better at something until after I had already given up on college because I had developed a fear of failure and if I couldn't get things right on the first try, I would give up.
I guess I'd go back to start learning how to learn and not be afraid of failure earlier in my life, but there are other things I'd much rather go back for. I heard the word "transgender" for the first time when I was a college freshman. It wouldn't be for another 10 years after that until I could start to really do anything with that information. So yes, I would go back, because I would love to have not spent the entirety of my teens and 20s kind of just existing day to day, going from work to home to work again.
Plus there's so much good music I missed growing up that I would've loved to find when I was younger.
Regarding music: the concerts I missed out in haunt me!
You seem pretty similar to how I was in school. My way of revisiting that is understanding it now that I'm a teacher. I think it makes me way more effective. Not perfect but able to connect and engage students more as well as encourage them to not fear being challenged.
I used to train kids at their first job and used my experiences in a similar fashion to push them to try new things and go for what they want without fearing failure. I would always tell them, "The biggest difference between you and me is that I've been on this floating rock longer than you have, so here's my experience and the results. Use that info however you want." Kids should be allowed to make their own choices and mistakes, but be informed on their options as much as they can be so that they can do so safely.
I'm completely with you, it took so many years till I got into learning again.
That one year before college when I worked at a carpenter (just to get my head straight again after those years of frustration) is still following me, I love my small workshop at home & chipping away on scrap wood, building small furniture here and there.
I feel that when we got our own kids it was kinda therapeutic to me in that regard, plus it's just fun to get a bit of revenge, let's say our kids teachers were very relieved as they completed school and I wasn't on theiy got rid of that maniac dad ๐
To this day I wish I had been able to take a year off after high school, maybe just taken some classes like life drawing classes or something that didn't have the pressure of getting good grades attached to them to break out of that fear of failure habit and avoid burnout. I went to college for art&animation in the game industry, and stopped drawing for 10 years because of the burnout I got after 2 years of college.
It sucks because I absolutely love learning new things, but can't stand a structured learning environment anymore. Give me YouTube videos and online guides and I'll suck them down all day. I'd love to be able to do a lot of traveling again for the same reason, seeing new things and learning new stuff about different people and places is a joy. But put me in a classroom and I'll fall right asleep and retain nothing.