You're right. There's a big difference between choices she makes now, and choices she made before Dark Fate existed. And many of them are probably irrelevant to the final product that the audience experiences.

I'll also add that personally I think her character has been exceptionally curated (barring early cancelation of TSSC) over the years and nearly any movie could have been a good sendoff for the character - and importantly Linda Hamilton has been an exceptional talent in bringing the character to life. So no matter what, my criticism as a fan comes from a place of enjoyment, and more important: her opinion on the matter is infinitely more valuable than mine.