this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2024
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Mildly Infuriating
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All this plus I think it's important to say to first: be EXTREMELY careful if you feel the need to critique or criticize someone who is being helpful. Really think about if it's worth it. If what they're doing really isn't helping anything then maybe it's worth it!
BUT if you just think they could do it better or if they aren't doing it how you would do it, then think again. You might end up simply discouraging a helpful attitude that would have figured things out on their own if you had just given them a bit of vague encouragement and time.
Right? Is this post wash, and still looking like this, or is this pre-wash?
I am neurodivergent, and really struggle with dishes. Touching other peoples leftover food absolutely disgusts me and it takes a lot of mental effort to do a load of dishes. No one in the house cleans their shit, they just dump it in the sink, and there is nasty stagnant water, left over whole-ass meals, chunks of food floating in gross, opaque liquids.....
I almost threw up just from this description.
If I do a load of dishes, I have adopted the reality that some shit will have to be ran through twice. I'm not aiming for perfect, I'm just trying to get it done.
It’s definitely pre-wash. The pink tub would have collected water otherwise.
In any case, it’s overful. A simple “hey, thanks for doing that, but if we fill too much, it struggles. We can run it more often if we need to, but I really appreciate the effort!” Is probably sufficient to the cause,
You could definitely fit those things in there. There are blank spots.
The e bowls need to stand much more vertical so you can clean multiple at a time. If you stand them right - they don't take much more room than plates.
It could also be sufficient to deflate her morale.
In my tight friend group, you can do that and it works. But I’ve learned through lots of communication failure that different people view criticism as meaning different things.
One person might take that as “oh hey some helpful feedback” and another might take that as “he thinks I’m worthless”.
Overall, we should strive to create people who can take the criticism for the help that it is. But that’s not where we’re at.
Hey just a semantic point: overcoming disgust to perform a gross task is emotional work, not mental work.
I wonder if there’s some word that’s the equivalent of courage, but for disgust instead of fear.
Maybe not even this. Because if she’s providing positive help elsewhere, that could disappear if she’s criticized on this thing.