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this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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OP, you sound like you need to talk to someone. Not on the internet. In real life.
Did I miss something OP said that made you think that? I’d indeed be happy I could smoke again, too. There’d be existential crisis and all, too, but cigarette would 100% be back. Man, and it’s been like 10 years, imagine someone who just quit lol
I don't think someone who's not having a crisis would think about the world ending and decide that the thrill of skipping work is about even with the knowledge of impending death in terms of emotional impact.
I’m what you could describe as an optimistic nihilist. I understand it might now satisfy everyone, but for me, the certitude that we’ll ultimately all be forgotten and erased from existence, as time passes and the universe slowly drifts into heat death, is an extremely liberating idea. The lack of an objective overarching meaning to life means that I can choose one for myself, and I genuinely think the best way to do it is to try to make everyone’s time on this drifting ball of rock and magma suck as little as possible.
All this to say, I don’t really fear my own death, but the impacts it’s going to have on the people I love.