653

Full Stack Programmer Doing Frontend (programming.dev)

submitted 8 months ago by LinearArray@programming.dev to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

96 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] RonSijm@programming.dev 111 points 8 months ago

Backend Requirements: "When x,y goes in, I want x+y to come out!" - Okay

Frontend Requirements: "Well it needs to be more user-friendly, and have this rockstar wow effect" - Yea wtf are you even talking about? You want me to add random glitter explosions, because I found a script for that, that's pretty 'wow effect' right?

[-] azertyfun@sh.itjust.works 81 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Real back-end requirements: when x, y goes in (in JSON-as-an-XML-CDATA-block because historical reasons), I want you to output x+y+z+æ+the proof to P=NP.

æ will require you yo compile x+y in CSV, email it to Jenny, who will email back the answer. She doesn't quite know how to export excel sheets though so you'd better build a robust validator. No, we don't know what æ is supposed to look like, Rob from Frontend knows but he's on vacation for the next 8 months.

The request must be processed under 100 ms as the frontend team won't be able to prioritize asynchronous loading for another 10 sprints and we don't want the webpage to freeze.

And why does your API return a 400 when I send a picture of my feet? Please fix urgently, these errors are polluting my monitoring dashboard and we have KPIs on monitoring alerts.