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this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2024
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I was born in the US to a Russian mother. She moved back to Russia when I was a toddler, and I lost contact with her in my adolescence. I have recently been determined to find her. I have not been able to make any progress on the internet, but I think I would have more success if I go in person and ask around her small town. I have been wanting to do this for the past 2 years. Yet, I'm not stupid enough to go to Russia right now even if it means that my mother may pass in the meantime. If I have a great reason to go and still don't, I don't know what's up with these people that think they'll be fine and go just to hang out. wtf.
I really hope you'll have enough time to meet her one day. I'm a Russian living in Germany (always have). I've made "peace" with the fact that I won't see my grandparents again. And only if we are very lucky, my daughter gets to meet her grandpa.
Every now and then, I meet other Russian moms on a playground or so. Then they're telling me how they went to Russia through Turkey (or plan to) - with their infants or toddlers - to visit family. The dads usually stayed in Germany to "be safe".
My immediate thought is always, man, how are they not scared. After all, God knows. They might be held back in Russia. They might have their kids held back. They might even end up in prison. Aren't they scared? Don't they care?
Then, after a while, I usually realize the thing. They're apolitical. They don't care what's going on. They care as far as how it has inflicted their lives, how it made travelling harder. What a shame Grandma has a harder time getting a visa to visit. They don't care about the dangers of travelling because there is no danger for them. They will be fine. They have never thought against, let alone voiced anything about their country's current situation. They have not ever partaken in any demonstration for Ukraine, they have never donated a cent to Ukraine, not even to OVD Info. There is virtually no danger to them, they are the kind of citizens the regime likes. They don't care, they don't oppose and if they did, the inconveniences it would cause to actually do something are too big. Go vote on March 17? Nah, that means standing in line. Putin will win anyway, why bother.
Everyone who stayed in Russia had their future taken. There are kids being bombed, orphanages being destroyed in Ukraine, and they care about how much of a hassle it is to fly through Turkey.
I understand the pain of not seeing your relatives again. I really do. But it should be more than a hassle for you. It should be dangerous. If it isn't dangerous enough for you, you have not done enough. Do your fucking part.
(Any moms in Leipzig who want to meet up and yell obscenities about Putin?)
Thank you/Спасибо