having difficulty with femininity and presentation (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by thumbtack@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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hey beehaw team :) this is partly advice seeking and partly just wanting to share my experience and hopefully hear how others feel about he topic. i’m not sure if this is the right community for this either, but hopefully it is!

i’m a cis woman who’s always been a fair bit interested in both femininity and androgyny for my hair and clothing, but lately i’ve been feeling more of a pull than usual to present in a more masculine/butch leaning way. to the point where i’m even considering trying out binding, which i’ve never really thought about before.

i’m a bit conflicted though about all of this, because i do know i have some internalized misogyny regarding femininity being inferior to masculinity. i’m having difficulty telling if i’d like to present more masc because i think femininity is stupid/not cool, or if it’s something i actually want.

does anyone have any advice/thoughts to share about this? i don’t really have anyone irl i can talk to about this, so any input would be really appreciated <3

to be clear, i am not questioning my gender here. i like and use she/her pronouns and am not interested in any others.

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[-] StringTheory@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I often see “fashion” being conflated with “gender” lately, which I think is a product of the very strict gender roles being enforced socially in the US right now. (Girls can’t dress like that! Girls can’t do that job! Girls can’t wear that color! Girls can’t play that sport! Girls can’t wear minimizing bras!) Play with clothing and fashion and style that interest you, and don’t stress over it. Emily Wheatley has a YouTube channel with fashion you might like to check out.

[-] alongwaysgone@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I feel like this is true. As much as it's 'allowed' to transition to be the opposite sex, it's still somehow not really ok for girls to just like to be outside and dirty and play sports or whatever. Wear whatever you want, and screw everyone else.